Hi everyone,

I've had a death wish since I was a kid.

I grew up in a good family. Good parents. No siblings to fight with. I wasn't missing anything in my childhood.

But I never felt like I fitted in.

I remember being maybe 10 or 12 years old, laying in the forest or on our little patio, looking up at the stars and wondering: What the hell am I doing here?

There was always an emptiness within myself. Always.

I built what everyone said was a good life:

A husband. Two brilliant kids. My own business as a silversmith. A christening collection sold to every jewelry store in Sweden.

And I wasn't happy.

I've never been truly happy in here (pointing to my heart).

But everybody said: "You have nothing to complain about. You have everything."

So you don't complain. Because people will think you're stupid.

You suffer in silence while everyone thinks you're the strongest, happiest woman in the world.

My ex father-in-law (bless him, he's in spirit now) suggested I try healing. So I booked a session.

I remember laying there on the massage bench. Beautiful music playing. Crystals everywhere. She took me through a meditation and gave me healing.

I felt... nothing. I was disappointed. Thought it was a waste of money.

But then I walked out of that room, sat in my car, and drove home.

And I was happier than I'd ever been.

The healing worked—just not on my physical body. My soul got nurtured.

That's how I started exploring spiritual things. That's how I ended up at my first Spiritualist society. That's where everything changed.

I don't think I was actually in love with my ex-husband. I was in love with what he represented.

When you've had this emptiness within you for over 25 years, and suddenly you feel joy for the first time, and it's not so empty in here anymore?

You think you've found what you've been looking for your whole life.

Today, I'm different. But I can still hit spiritual depression—mainly when I'm not working.

My work is my healing.

I need spirit energy. Not necessarily to work as a medium, but I need that energy to fill the hole I have in my heart.

It's like a drug for me.

I don't scream to the spirit world anymore when I need help or guidance.

I look within myself. Because my soul, my spirit, is my compass in this life.

My soul knows exactly what is good for me and where I need to go. It might not always be the easiest way, but it's certainly the right way.

And once I started listening inwardly to myself—once my life wasn't constantly upside down—I knew I was making the right decisions.

I became softer. Calmer. More in the middle instead of extreme highs and lows.

Sometimes that middle can be boring, honestly. I miss the highs. But I don't miss the lows.

If you feel that emptiness within yourself—if you have everything you're "supposed" to want but still feel like something's missing—it might be your soul screaming for a change.

Screaming for you to sit down and find yourself. To see the spirit, the soul, the beauty you actually have within you.

Because your spirit is pure light. There's nothing evil or bad within your soul.

Life, indoctrination, bad upbringings—those things can turn human beings into bitter or evil people. But your soul? Your soul is beautiful.

I recorded something about all of this—spiritual depression, the emptiness, what finally helped me and what still doesn't. It's raw and honest, and I recorded it because I know there are people out there feeling exactly what I've felt my whole life.

Watch: I've had a death wish since I was 10 years old

Today, I'm happy with who I am. It took me over 50 years to get there.

But I found my soul. My spirit. And that teaches me who I am every single day.

If you're still looking for yours, keep going. It's worth it.

P.S. - Spirit for me is pure light. And there's nothing evil, nothing bad within the spirit. When you find that light within yourself, everything changes. Not overnight. But it changes.

You can always reply to this email with your thoughts or questions. I read every message and respond personally. Your presence in this community means everything to me. 💜

Much love to you all
//Mia

Mia Ottosson is a Spiritual Medium, Healer, Spirit Artist and Author and has been working with Spirit and teaching for over 30 years.

_{You are receiving these emails as you have registered your interest to receive constant contact from Mia.
Your data is confidential and we never approach a SPAM attitude. Shall you wish to stop receiving communication from Mia via email you can unsubscribe anytime at the link below}